The teacher clearly cares about your child

Green Flag #1

It’s a deep truth that “Love covers a multitude of sins.”  When a music teacher clearly and genuinely cares about your child, there is a very little left to look for.

This green flag really waves when a teacher expresses and shows what is called “unconditional positive regard.” Unconditional positive regard has been defined many ways.  David G Meyers defines it in his textbook, Psychology: Eighth Edition in Modules, as “an attitude of grace, an attitude that values us even knowing our failings.”  Carl Rogers (considered the originator of the term) said that it is “A warm acceptance of the person. A genuine caring for the [person].”  

This care creates an atmosphere of safety - an atmosphere that is especially important for the music learning process.  

I will often say to students:

“Did you know that I like you?  It’s true.  I like you.  And you know what else?  There is nothing that you can do to stop me liking you.  I will like you if you mess up your music.  I will like you if you don’t practice, or practice badly.  I will like you if you try, and I will like you if you don’t.  I’ll like you if you’re mad, and I’ll like you if your happy.  Sorry - there is just nothing that you can do to break me of liking you.”

You might think that this would make some kids really try to get me to stop liking them - that it would make them try to act like jerks to see if they can get me to not like them.  But it doesn’t.  It never has.  What it has actually produced in my classrooms are kids who have a lot of faith and trust in me.  Then, this unconditional positive regard gets picked up by the leaders in the classroom.  They treat the kids they are helping with care, and they learn patience, empathy and resilience.  

Find a teacher who displays unconditional positive regard with your child, and you’ve won half the battle.